The 3-Step Formula I Use to Kill Stress (Mid-crisis)
A ridiculously simple technique to become free from stress
This other day, I was in ‘monk mode’ trying to put my thoughts on Substack.
Suddenly, my phone rang.
The call was from our performance marketing team. One of the landing pages we were running our Meta Ads campaign on was completely failing.
Zero conversions.
Right at that moment, I was stressed.
My brain was trying to grapple with two conflicting priorities.
The creative state wanted to stay focused on writing the piece. While the survival state wanted to deal with the urgent problem of a non-converting landing page.
What looked like a peaceful writing session turned into a Tug of War.
This is exactly what stress is all about.
Stress is a result of a situation when your brain is pulling in two opposite directions - each needing your attention.
That's the tug of war I was in. Two sides pulling, neither one letting go.
The question is: how do we deal with it?
Here is a simple three step formula to overcome stress.
A small caveat: This formula won’t dissolve every kind of stress. For instance, health, money, relationships have their own weight. But for the daily tug between what’s urgent and what actually matters, it works.
With that said, here's the formula:
Step 1: Identify the conflict
The formula to identify conflict is decoupling the conflicting thoughts first.
It goes like this:
I want to do [X] but I need to do [Y].
For instance, I want to write but I need to fix the landing page.
But I can’t do both.
Once you identify the conflict, it becomes way easier to deal with it.
Step 2: Sit with the conflict for a minute or two - acknowledge it
When you acknowledge the conflict, the stress loses its grip. Now you are in charge of the stress.
Stress won’t be able to control you.
Because you are completely present to the stress and aware of it.
Step 3: Make a conscious choice
Weigh your options. Identify what is more important in the moment.
This is when the stress starts to melt away.
When people or external forces push you to treat something urgent, it doesn’t mean so.
So make an educated choice.
Choose what you will do now and what you will do later.
So when the ads team called me and asked me to fix the landing page, I asked them a question - “Is this blocking your progress immediately? Can you send me the ad copies and creatives for the ad campaign?”
After hearing their answer, I was clear that it wasn’t urgent.
I made a choice to finish the piece I'd started.
Stress is a choice. Only if you choose to.
Next time when two things are pulling at you, run the three steps:
Name the conflict.
Sit with it for a couple of minutes. Do a fact check.
Choose intentionally
And do let me know how it goes.